Friday, February 27, 2009

Whatever Happened To Wizard?

So what does it mean that Wizard Magazine has laid off seven more staff positions? It could be interpreted as a sign of the economic times, but Wizard has been laying people off since before times got rough, so the blame can’t be placed squarely at the feet of the collapse of the global economy. No, this is a matter of relevance and not knowing what you want to be as a business.

Let’s face it, "relevant" is something Wizard hasn’t been for a long time. For a while they were pretty safe in their niche, but then that whole Internet thing really took off and sites like Comic Book Resources and Newsarama not only took away the need to wait a month to get your comic book news, but offered up a wonderful benefit to fans who would love to spend their money on comics: the sites and all their content were free. Still, though, Wizard hung in there, probably because people remembered fondly what it once was.

In the glory days, way back in the 90’s, Wizard was one of a kind. Not only was it a magazine dedicated to covering super hero comics, but it also had a sense of community to it. This was long before message boards took off, and Wizard was a rallying point for fans, especially since it read like an updated version of the old Marvel Bullpen from the ‘60’s. Everyone at the comic shop may not have read the same titles each month, but everyone read Wizard.

And Wizard played on that. The big appeal of Wizard when it first debuted was more than just its content (though seeing actual features like whether Batman could take Captain America were big). The magazine’s voice was the draw. Wizard could easily have read like “An Ode To Fanboys, By Fanboys” but it rarely did. There was this feeling given off from the magazine’s staff that these were the fans at the comic shop that, while they loved their super hero comics, got just how silly they could be at the same time. And it made for good reading. The articles had pop, flair and snark to them. They were funny while managing to be informative. Most importantly, the magazine was unapologetic about everything; its tone, its stance on editorial directions its favorite books had taken, everything. Wizard was the cool rallying point for an uncool hobby.

Slowly, though, all that started to disappear. Writers stopped calling out companies for bad stories, stopped making fun of goofy characters (remember “Mort of the Month?”) and stopped being smart asses all the time. They even stopped doing reviews, attributing this to not wanting to use its lofty position of power among fandom to influence them or writers. Sure, that sounds altruistic, but everyone suspects the real story being about knowing who butters your bread, and knocking that person’s output could be seen as detrimental.

It also became more overt about taking money from the fans, and for a little while, managed to do this with success. Not only did it buy up hard to find comics and resell them at exorbitant rates (thanks to the price guide in the back of every issue that most retailers referred to when doing business), but it started to make deals with publishers to get exclusive comics, action figures, lithographs, you name it. On top of all that, Wizard got into the convention market, and for a little while, to great success.


In short, Wizard made a grab for the money Marvel and DC were making off comics. Too bad there’s not that much money to grab.

Anyone who follows comics knows the money both Marvel and DC make from just comic book sales isn’t that much. Sure, comics pay the monthly bills, but the real money is in licensing, movies and TV. And to some degree collected editions. Plus, Marvel is a publicly traded company, while DC has Time-Warner to prop them up. That Gareb Shamus thought there could be exponential growth by just being a comic magazine/comic seller shows a severe lack of foresight. At least when it comes to the long-term success of his company. Certainly his own bank account is pretty full, just not his company’s.

The most recent nail in the publication coffin seems certainly to have been an editorial shift from covering comics exclusively to trying to be an all-encompassing entertainment magazine. Now in addition to a Q&A with Brian Michael Bendis, there are also cover stories on The Watchmen and whatever else is hot in genre movies and TV. The only problem with that is there are dozens of other, better-established magazines dedicated to doing just that. Plus, with a name like Wizard, a newcomer is more likely to figure it’s some D&D fanzine than a legit mainstream journalistic publication.

The layoffs at Wizard started long before the economy went south. It first started with longtime staffers and editors making a certain amount of money being served their walking papers, then selling off their actual office on Conger’s, New York. Just last year, the magazine actually recruited volunteer writers from the Internet to contribute content. That’s right, fans who’ve always dreamed of being close to their favorite writers and artists are working FOR FREE while making money for Wizard. For Shamus, this is certainly a good moneymaker. Why pay for the content when fans will do it for nothing? But when you’ve let go all of your seasoned editors and trained journalists, just how good can that content be, and how long will readers tolerate it? After all, they’re paying for the content. If there’s no guarantee of quality, they won’t stick around for long, or so one would think.

How did this all happen? Like a thousand other print publications, Wizard’s owner got greedy. The magazine’s decade plus long lifespan is more than enough proof that there was, and most likely still is, a market for what it has to offer. However, Wizard is learning the hard way what other media owners are learning about their newspapers and magazine. Gone are the days when publishers could see an annual return on their investment of close to 50 percent. Realistically, if your business plan is a sound one and you have actual content people want to pay for, that return is going to be 10 to 20 percent. Enough to pay the bills, live comfortably and pay for some extra pages for a couple double sized issues every now and again. But not enough to make you a media mogul.

For Wizard, it already may be too late. We may well be seeing the death throws of a once viable, vibrant magazine. This most recent round of layoffs will, sadly, most likely not be the last and more people will be left without jobs.

Here’s hoping the next comics magazine is content with being just that; a magazine about comics.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Hard Asses Assemble!

What happens when some Hollywood exec decrees that all able bodied bad mother fuckers still working in the movies gather in one film? You get a movie called The Expendables, the story of a group of mercenaries that head to South America to overthrow a dictator.

According to imdb.com, here's the cast so far:

Sylvester Stalone
Mickey Rourke
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Dolph Lundgren... Dolph fucking Lundgren!
Randy Couture

And just to get some acting pedigree in, we also get Ben Kingsley and Forrest Whitaker.

But you know, looking at that list, something seems to be missing. Yeah, those are some real hard asses, but it just seems like there could be....

Holy shit Arnold Schwarzenegger is in this thing too!

Seriously, is there even a need to hire a writer for this thing?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Oh, Cobra Commander... What Have They Done To You?

G.I. Joe producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura on Cobra Commander:

“I thought what was great in ‘The Dark Knight’ was that Heath kept telling you different stories [about his past] so you never knew what it was, and they were all spooky and crazy. [In our film] you get to see it, and you get to understand what’s happened to this guy.”

So essentially, what’s being said is: “You know how they dealt with The Joker in The Dark Knight and how awesome it was? Yeah, well, we’re not doing anything like that! We’re going to do what everyone else does."

But that’s not really the deal breaker. From the same interview:

And while the character is widely known for his blue mask, don’t expect that to necessarily carry over in whole either. “We’ll see Cobra Commander in the Cobra mask [but] it will not be like the show,” said di Bonaventura, who also promised they aren’t going to the comics for that one either. “I found some of the [mask] aspects a little KKK for me,” he said, “so we tried to steer away from that image. We thought that might be a little much.”

First things first: So di Bonaventura was able to look at a blue, draped hood emblazoned with a red cobra and get the Ku Klux Klan from that?


Am I not making the right connection here? You wanna get offended by Cobra Commander’s hood? Fine. But get offended by it for the right reason. KKK? You’re thinking too small, good sir. Here’s what is arguably the inspiration for Cobra Commander and his hood…


Marvel Comics’ Baron Heinrich Zemo. Captain America and Avengers villain. Founder of The Masters of Evil. Nazi scientist. I’m very certain that the entire Cobra organization from The Commander on down is meant to evoke fascist, Nazi-esque imagery. They’re evil with a capitol “E.” That’s what always made Cobra kind of scary. That and deathtrap laden funhouses.

But the Klan? Really? That’s just lazy. If you want to use negative imagery as an excuse to make unwarranted changes to a property, then pick the right ones.

Yet using negative imagery to justify changes to this character still rings hollow. After all, Cobra Commander is a terrible human being. He’s a terrorist responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands and unapologetically proud of it. He murdered his own son as both a warning of what would happen to those who would rise against him and to prove to himself that he wasn't weak. He started World War III just to prove he could. For Christ’s sake, he used to be a used car salesmen! You’re supposed to hate the guy. He has no redeeming qualities.

That di Bonaventura looks at the character and gets unsettled is a good thing. He should know that, unless… unless he has ulterior motives. Could it be that he has no real concern for staying true to the property and is just looking for a reason to make unnecessary changes?

“Ah-Ha! He has a hood! The Klan wears a hood! Now I have all the reason I need to give Cobra Commander a translucent hood with tubes feeding from his chest to his face!”

Yes. This is what producers have opted to make Cobra Commander look like. A translucent mask and tubes running from the chest to the head never looked so menacing.
I’m not kidding myself. Movies like this are never meant to be fan wanks. They’re meant to make money for someone like di Bonaventura. It’s not about the property but the property’s name and knowing that no matter what you make, there should be enough geeks somewhere that’ll turn out and try to convince themselves it’s a great flick based on the sole basis of what it’s been named and adequate special effects.

I’ve wasted too much money on bad adaptations and too much breath arguing with people who defend them. Simple fact is the producers of G.I. Joe are actually doing us all a favor broadcasting their ignorance of the property. I’m glad I know this far out that the filmmakers don’t get it. Saves me the time and money of finding out while sitting in a theater with high hopes.

So, yeah. I’m out.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

40% Off One Item At Borders! Awe, Hell...

I am off to cash in a 40% off any one item at a local Borders. This is both cause for excitement and confusion.

Excitement: Yay! I don't have to spend full price on a book!

Confusion: Boo! Now I'm about to damn myself (and by default, my wife) to spending a little over an hour wandering through Borders trying to figure out just what one item over $10 I shall use my coupon on.

So far, the frontrunner is this guy.

Will report back from the front lines soon...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Your Avengers Got Into My Thunderbolts

The big news in Avengers land is Dark Avengers. Who are the "Dark Avengers?" Well, they're The Avengers, only... dark. Bad guys. Put together by Norman "Green Goblin" Osborn in his new role of chief of Marvel's world police, H.A.M.M.E.R. (no, I don't know what hammer stands for click the link if you really want to know).

Let m explain. Here are the Dark Avengers, mostly bad guys appropriating the good names of established good guys:


1. Captain Marvel, aka: Marvel Boy- Marvel Boy showed up a few years ago from a parallel universe, got a not-so-warm-reception from the denizens of this new-to-him-un
iverse and declared war. He's been rotting in prison for a few years but recently helped repel a Skrull invasion. He's kind of a brat.

2. The Sentry- Not so much a bad guy as bat-shit crazy. And hella annoying. Marvel keeps trying to push him down our throats as this awesomely conflicted character but what we really get stuck with is a whiney, mostly incapable of action Superman.

3. Ms. Marvel aka: Moonstone- Old school villain whose super power seems to be super mind fucking.

4. Iron Patriot aka: Norman "Green Goblin" Osborn- Like I said, he's won the public over and taken over Nick Fury's old job.

5. Ares- Yep. The Greek god of war. Again, like Marvel Boy and The Sentry, not strictly a bad guy, just a deity with a piss-poor attitude. Loves axes.

6. Wolverine aka: Daken: Wolverine's bastard son... wait, what? Goddamnit, is something that we really needed? Is it not enough that Wolverine himself shows up in at 27 books a month, now we have to get saddled with his dark, brooding son with a mowhawk no less? Jesus Christ, it's like they found an old file Rob Liefeld left sitting around the offices and ran with an idea he found too stupid to run with.

7. Hawkeye, aka: Bullseye- Old Daredevil baddie, former hitman for The Kingpin and murderer of Elektra (she got better).

8. Spider-Man, aka: Venom- Yep. That Venom. No, hold on, not "that" Venom. This one is Scorpion who has been wearing the Venom symbiote for the last few years. He eats people. A lot.

So there you have it. The Dark Avengers, an innovative team made up of villains who have tricked the public into thinking they're righteous do-gooders, thwarters of evil, blah, blah, blah. Good job, Marvel! You've just invented...


The Thunderbolts! Former Avengers' baddies The Masters of Evil all decked out in new costumes, winning over the public as the newest super heroes on the block. No kidding, the last page reveal that these were in fact classic villains was mind blowing back in 1997 and the first 12 issues of this series were brilliant. But I digress...

Like the guys from the Coke Zero ads, you have to ask if it's possible to plagiarize yourself?

Now I'm not saying I'm not enjoying the series so far. Quite the contrary, so far so good. But the great writing from Brian Michael Bendis and art from Mike Deodato is a little hampered for me by the nagging thought that this has all been done before. I guess the big deal this time out is that the villains aren't in a brand new team, but taking up residence as the actual Avengers in their actual head quarters.

Still, it would be a lot cooler if Zemo could show up at some point threatening litigation...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Media Blackout

Sometimes Greek Gods of War just like to argue for the sake of argument...



Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Battlestar Galactica Explained... Maybe.

If you're completely honest with yourself, the February 13th episode of Battlestar Galactica, "No Exit," was a bit tricky, what with divulging so much mythology, backstory and everything else needed to neatly wrap up such a rich, complex story. Hell, I went back and watched it a second time just so I could try and pick up on little nuggests I may have missed.

But what I really needed was a flowchart...

Oh, why thank you ScreenJunkies.com, that's exactly what I needed.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Places To See Before You Die

Come on out to Alamogordo, New Mexico, home of Holloman Airforce Base, The White Sands Missile Range and...

The Atari Landfill!

See
! the final resting place of millions of unsold Atari 2600 games, mostly copies of Atari’s E.T. The Extra Terrestrial!

Sift!
through mountains of trash built up over two decades to see what failure looks like en masse!

Chisel!
through the tons and tons of concrete that covers this treasure of poor business planning!

"The Atari Landfill! Your Childhood is Waiting... For You to Dig it Up!"

Monday, February 16, 2009

My New "Lost" Theory

While I tend to let others theorize the true meanings of the extremely textured (if not convoluted) Lost, I wholeheartedly believe that I've figured out at least one major secret the writers have been trying to keep secret. A secret so well kept that to my knowledge no one else has stumbled upon it yet, even though it's been hiding for years in plain sight. What is this secret? Get ready to have your mind blown.


Jack Shepherd...



is really…

Charlie Salinger!

And don't think this is some silly joke about both characters being played by the same actor. If I wanted to do that I'd make a joke about Jin and Bernard taking a vacation from Wolfram & Hart. No, there's something to this, and I think the evidence speaks for itself.

Unable to Maintain a Relationship

Charlie Salinger seemed genetically predispositioned to make the life of Kirsten a living hell. From cheating on her with old flames to telling her that he didn’t want to marry her (on their wedding day no less), the dude had to have taken sick pleasure in building this poor girl up just to tear her back down. And Jack Shepherd? From episode one, Kate has practically been begging the good doctor to give a thorough examination to her nether regions and even tried to use Sawyer as a Jack proxy. And when they got off the island, Jack teased Kate with a real relationship, only to flake out over a kid Kate was raising. And not just some random kid. Not even some kid that Kate got knocked up with by another man. No, Jack’s nephew. Way to go, Jack!

Daddy Issues

Jack Shepherd undertook his father’s profession and has to deal with his peers name dropping dear old dad day in and day out at the hospital while Charlie not only took over his dad’s business, but the man’s family as well. He has to hear about how not only was his dad a better restaurateur than Charlie will ever be, but he has to live with the fact that as a paternal figure to his deceased father’s kids, he pretty much sucks. Neither Charlie nor Jack deals with this well and as a result we get binge drinking and pill popping as means of coping.

Fate Forces Both to Cast Aside Personal Dreams, Goals and Aspirations

Let’s face it, who really wants to lead a hodge-podge gathering of misfits and emotionally broken people around a time-traveling monster-filled jungle for the rest of their life when they could be getting real paid working as an in demand surgeon? Better yet, who would jump at the opportunity to move back home to raise their brothers and sisters and run a business they were never really fond of when they could keep diving pelvis first into rivers of tail? But Jack and Charlie do what they’ve got to do (or what strangers and acquaintances tell them they have to do) and try and suck it up.

Uncanny Fear of Being Alone

Jack’s famous line from season one was “We can either live together or die alone” has come to define much of who he is. And it seemed like once per episode Charlie was telling the Salinger clan they could either live together or get taken into the system by social services. And just what did said unity ever get either one? Heartache, heartbreak, rejection and no appreciation whatsoever.

Immune to Razors

Conventional blades have no effect on either Jack Shepherd or Charlie Salinger. The best a Mach III or IV can do is beat the face bushes down to a kick-ass Don Johnson-esque five o’clock shadow.

Try to tell me I’m wrong. See? You can’t do it.


My Prediction for the Last "Lost" Episode

Jack Shepherd takes a blow to the head, causing him to black out, only to wake up in bed as Charlie Salinger next to Suzanne Pleshette.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Wonder Woman offers up some great animated violence and the story is pretty good too!

So this weekend is the New York Comic Con. I love comic book conventions, it's like being in the worlds largest comic book store with a bunch of the creators and tons of the most devoted fans which leads to all sorts of great (and sometimes annoying, depending on the type of fan;) discussions and interactions. Luckily, I bought a weekend pass back in December when I still had a regular job, other wise I would probably be sitting it out this year, but such is life and I intend to enjoy every moment of it.

On Friday, I had an enjoyable day exploring the exhibit hall and attending panels, but the highlight of the day was the big screen premiere of the Wonder Woman animated movie with a talk back afterwards with Bruce Timm (like I even need to tell you... the producer), Lauren Montgomery (the director), and Michael Jelenic (wrote the screenplay). 





As I watched the opening sequence of the Wonder Woman animated movie, I couldn't help but think, what a no brainer. An army of Amazon women fighting an epic action packed and extremely violent battle against the god of war and the hordes of Hades. I mean it was a beautiful and exciting opening that got me psyched for a great movie. I must admit, it was so good that part of me was wondering if this was going to be the highlight of the movie. It wasn't.

The movie progresses forward in time and plot with a story that is part epic mythological tale, part action adventure and part... romantic comedy?!? And it totally works.

I wasn't expecting the movie to be so funny or violent, but both attributes make it extremely enjoyable. The Amazons are warriors and we get to see them in battle after blood battle, the strongest of the warriors cutting a bloody path through their enemies. The action is fast paced, bloody and violent. In the talk back that followed the screening, Bruce Timm explained that the first cut received an "R" rating for violence and some things had to be cleaned up to get the rating down to PG-13. He did say, depending on sales and demand, the R rated cut may be released in the future. (So everyone, go buy the dvd and demand the R rated cut!!) Even so, the violence is still top notch, the death count in this movie is quite high.

The comedy was a pleasant surprise. The movie has an excellent voice cast. Nathan Fillion has some of the funniest lines, and his delivery only makes it funnier. Wonder Woman's interaction with Fillion's character Steve Trevor, and her introduction to man's world lends itself to some great comedic moments. One of my favorites is when Wonder Woman innocently explains to a little girl how to sword fight in such a way that she will take down the boys who are not letting her play in their pretend sword fighting game. There are a ton of other scenes which I really want to share, but it will be so much better if you experience it first hand.

The movie is light on drama, but the characterization and relationships are all handled extremely well. This is Wonder Woman's origin, but the supporting characters get their moment to shine.

Its only weakness seems to be its mandatory run time. I was enjoying this movie so much that I was disappointed when it ended. The action moves so quickly that at times, I felt it could have used more of a transition or explanation from one local to the next, but I was having so much fun that I went with it and didn't mind the moments that felt a little rushed.

In short, Bruce Timm, Lauren Montgomery, Michael Jelenic and the rest of the production team have trumped all the previous efforts of the new DC Universe Animated films. Christopher Drake also deserves a well earned shout out for his epic musical score that hits all the right notes and adds another dramatic layer to the awesome little film. Wonder Woman sets a new high mark, which I hope they can match in future efforts, especially since I hear the next one might be Green Lantern. I can't wait. 

The DVD and Blu-ray hits stores on March 3, I'm eager to watch it again, I wish my next viewing could be on the big screen as well. You can see a trailer and hear a sample of the score at the official movie website.