Fun Panels From Last Week's Comics!

There are some panels from comics that just jump right out at you. Some are noteworthy for their sheer awesomeness while others make you just scratch your head in bewilderment. This past week had three of note for me that ran the gamut.

First up, we have a panel from X-Men #201. In this issue we learn that Mystique, who had seemingly turned over a new leaf and even had "relations" with Bobby "Iceman" Drake was really biding her time to screw the team over. Of note, though is her method of temporarily disabling Iceman's powers:


Nice! Now there's a woman that really knows how to think outside the box. Or in the box, depending on how you look at it...

Next up, we have a scene from Countdown #40 in which we find out just how behind the times The Daily Planet really is:


So let me get this straight; The Daily Planet, perhaps the most influential newspaper in the DC universe, has yet to make the jump to digital? Jesus, I worked for a small newspaper in south Georgia and they've been digital for years. This is kind of sad.

And finally, my favorite panel of the week, and perhaps the last six months, compliments of Batman #666:


Yep, that's Talia al Ghul's (daughter of Ra's al Ghul) ass! I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I lingered on this panel for a little while just to take it's magnificence in completely. Hell, I even wanted to jump onto the page to high-five Bruce Wayne. Sure, you can be pretentious and argue that it's just a drawing of a woman's ass, but I say thee nay! It's not just a drawing of a woman's ass, it's a great drawing of a fine woman's ass! And it's Talia al Ghul, the most dangerous woman on the planet, with more blood on her hands than just about anyone else in the DCU. However, you have to wonder if this means Batman is an advocate for unsafe sex. I mean, he must be as he not only put his life on the line to totally bang her, but knocked her up to boot. Just what is the message being sent here?

Ah, who cares? Let's just look at it one more time:

Outstanding.

I am Spock. And Sylar.

J.J. Abrams, director and producer of the as-yet-unnamed new Star Trek movie, announced at ComicCon that Zachary Quinto, Sylar from "Heroes," is going to play the young Spock.

He does kinda look like a young Nimoy.

But wait, there's more! Turns out Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are going to be making appearances in the new film, too.

Nimoy's 76. So is Shatner. Pretty soon, the only place they're going where no man has gone before will be in a set of Depends. I'm guessing they'll be used as a framing device for the movie... but didn't Kirk die with Picard 13 years ago?

I'm skeptical on this one. I just finished re-watching the entire run of "Enterprise" with new roommate Bob, reaffirming that it was a kick-ass series with some pretty low moments. At the same time, it was really looking up the final season (until that atrocious finale episode). Hell, I'll go check out the new Trek film, out in 2008, so long as Rick Berman and Brandon Braga have nothing to do with it.

Youtube madness!

Two videos that struck my fancy this week. First, in honor of Chris' love for Harry Potter and Lindsay Lohan's love of cocaine:



Finally, this one was pointed out to me this week - it explains why the "liquify" tool in Photoshop is every girl's best friend:

The End of the Harry Potter Saga

It was a rough weekend. I wasn’t able to start reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows until Saturday afternoon because of work. Factor in another hiatus to have video game fun night with some friends and I really didn’t start in earnest until Sunday morning. But once I started, woo buddy, it was on. Just before Monday at noon I turned the last page, and was finally finished with not only the latest novel, but the entire Harry Potter saga.

And it sucked.

Not the book, mind you. Deathly Hallows continued to trend that J.K. Rowling started of each book getting better and better. In short it was a masterpiece of literature and I’ll argue anyone who says otherwise. In fact, and laugh if you will, I was almost reduced to sobs three different times. It was that emotional and typically I don’t get weepy over fiction, no matter how sad.

No, what sucks is that with the finishing of this one book, something big is over and you feel it.

Harry Potter has been compared a lot to Star Wars in its impact on modern pop-culture, and that’s not unearned. But now, having read them all, I can say the emotional impact on me was a lot bigger than anything George Lucas has served up. Yeah, I know how blasphemous that one statement is, but it’s true.

In Star Wars, even though Lucas was dealing in very similar archetypes as Rowling, you never really worried about the safety of anyone good. Sure, Obi Wan died, but after that, the good guys, you knew, were safe. You can site Revenge of the Sith as going against the grain, but how emotionally invested were really in Mace Windu or any of the other faceless Jedi who eventually bit it? Not much I’ll wager.

In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the death toll is high, and each lost life is a hard blow. The trend started in Goblet of Fire, continued into Order of the Phoenix and became downright shocking in Half-Blood Prince. None of that really prepared you for what Harry was about to lose in one book though. Fictional characters that over the span of a decade that you came to feel a real relationship with were killed and maimed in a war, though magical, felt real nonetheless. Even worse (or better), their deaths were never glorified. The violence was quick and brutal. A character is jovial at the end of one paragraph and dead mid-sentence the next. Some major and beloved characters even died off-page. People were torn away from Harry, and more importantly, the reader.

This book, and in turn the entire Harry Potter series, turned out to be epic in a Tolkien scope and a world that felt just as real as Middle-Earth was fleshed out before our eyes. You bought into a Ministry of Magic, a school where little wizards went to learn magic, house elves and everything else. Rowling may not have spent decades like Tolkien creating new languages or entire histories, but she wrote like she really believed in these things and in turned that translated to the reader. She never wrote down to her readers, explaining why her fans range from 8 to 80.

It’s all over now. Rowling answered pretty much every big question fans had, and showed exactly why Harry Potter was the chosen one. But with everything being over, it’s hard not to get a little down about there being no new Harry Potter book to look forward to. However, in the end, I’m glad it’s over. All great epics end, and this one is no different. Now the books can join the ranks of other literary greats and prove that literature and commercial viability do not have to be mutually exclusive.

End Media Silence

Finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows this morning, but no time right now to post a full review. That will be coming in the next day or so.

What I do have time to say is that I feel emotionally drained right now. Not in a bad way, but in that each of the characters feels like a dear friend that I now have to say good-bye to. This book exceeded every expectation I had and, now that the Harry Potter cycle is completed, J. K. Rowling can firmly take her place as one of the literary greats.

More to come.

Harry Potter's Midnight Madness Sale!!!

Tonights the big night! Whose ready?

I’m sure everyone knows I’m talking about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which goes on sale at 12:01 tonight. I’m not ambitious enough to buy the books, but wanting to reread them all again before the 7 came out, I just dropped by my local library. I checked out the first 6 and put my name on the list for a copy of book 7 when it’s available. I’m only number 483. The librarian was surprised the number was so low.

Barnes and Noble is close enough, I might drop by to see all people in costumes, maybe check out the festivities. I know when book six was released, my friend Aaron and I went to the bar on the corner, then went to Barnes and Noble in time to make magic wands. Magic is so much cooler when vodka is involved.

But really, how many of you guys will be waiting at the local book store at 12:01(or oddly enough the local groceries stores) to buy the most anticipated book of the… millennium?

The closer it gets to midnight, the more I want to read it, but I’ve borrowed the rest in the past and I’m sure there will be enough copies floating around that I can probably borrow one if the whole library thing doesn’t come through.

And as a special treat here's a preview image of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows... Harry sure is growing up fast!

Okay, that's not from Harry Potter, then again, he will be 17 in this one so who knows...

That's right, I posted the British cover just to confuse you... I like it more than the American one anyway. I wish I had British copies of all the books so that every time someone saw me reading one, they didn't recognize it immediately and start talking about what they think will happen in book seven.

Do autobots need car insurance?

I was browsing Mike Daisey's web page and came across a link to this letter over on McSweeneys.net.


A LETTER TO OPTIMUS PRIME FROM HIS GEICO AUTO INSURANCE AGENT.

By John Frank Weaver

Dear Mr. Prime,

We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I feel that I have sent the same letter to you once a month for the last six months, and I am now sending it again.

Since becoming a GEICO customer in January of this year, you have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. You have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either "Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."

The only repairs for which you were reimbursed were the replacement of a cracked fender and a headlight, required after a Mr. I. Ron Hide backed his van into your truck; these cost $1,286.63. Our own investigation concluded that you were not at fault and that Mr. Hide had been drinking prior to the accident. Though police were unable to test his blood-alcohol level—Mr. Hide claimed that it would be impossible for police to examine his blood-alcohol content with a Breathalyzer, because he "doesn't breathe"—under Washington-state law, refusal to take a Breathalyzer test is equivalent to returning a result above the legal level.

But, I repeat, those were the only repairs for which you have been reimbursed, and it was a very minor accident in comparison to your other claims. I mention a few to illustrate the larger trend:

continues here

Alternatives to the big comic companies

With Marvel and DC publishing so many books and mega crossovers, it's easy to overlook the small guys. At the Wizard World Philadelphia convention, I took the time to look for some of those small guys. The following are the people who impressed me enough to get my money.

Ape Entertainment won most of my limited supply of cash. I purchased a whopping six comic books from them and intend to follow up with more.

My favorite new comic book (and my second favorite convention purchase, after my Flash t-shirt) is the first issue of Teddy Scares.




It's a delightful book about Teddy Bears who were loved and disposed of. Now mangled Zombiefied Teddy Scares, they live in a garbage dump. Despite the occasional beheading, these cute stuffed animals really just want to be loved. The first issue is 56 pages and contains 4 tales of the lovely degrading teddy bears, narrated by Edwin, the poet of the group. They are lighthearted, entertaining, and, best of all, there's no continuity to follow. It's just fun simple stories. A character even dies, but only to get the readers excited because "that's what all the big comic companies do."

A full line of collectible stuffed Teddy Scares predates the comic book and a short Teddy Scares film is now up on youtube.

I love the axe wielding Redmond, he's so crazy.

Next up is The Black Coat, which demonstrates how important setting can be to a story. It follows a vigilante in New York, which isn't that unusual, but it takes place in 1775.

America is on the verge of open revolt and the British have allied themselves with a mystical group in hopes of regaining control of the Americas. Add in a Frankenstein like scientist working on an elixir for immortality and you have all sorts of trouble for our masked spy the Black Coat. I purchased the first issue of the second mini series instead of the trade paper back of the first mini, I know I should start at the beginning, but I was watching my funds and wanted to sample the series. The first issue relies heavily on what has come before, but manages to play catch up without feeling like its dishing out lots of exposition. The story has the feel of a real old school swashbuckling adventure tale. I'll be taking that first mini-series trade now.

Sullengrey was the third book I bought from Ape Entertainment and the incentives were enough to make this purchase worthwhile. Each purchase of the entire four-issue mini-series came with a free music soundtrack made for the comic book and a personalized zombie portrait by artist Drew Rausch.


Zombie Joe Ben!!

Sullengrey is a zombie like horror tale with a gothic punk art style that creates a nice dark scary mood. The artwork and dialogue are extremely effective at setting the tone.
There were moments, while reading at night, I had to turn on extra lights. Throughout the series, the occasional eerie photographs are very effective at suddenly making a moment more real. The artwork is so stylized that the comic is separated from reality, but one little photograph of a bloody woman wielding a chainsaw and suddenly, for a moment, the character is real.

While I enjoy Sullengrey for its creepy artwork and sharp dialogue, the overall story doesn't seem very focused. The wrap up seems too quick with out adequately revealing all the connections. I'm still scratching my head over a few scenes, but the D&D reference at the end makes me smile.

Previews for these comics as well as the rest of their line up can be found at www.Apecomics.com.

Loaded Barrel Studios impressed me with their visually interesting book "Brielle and Horror." The book is a mixture of photographs and pencil artwork. Every panel is staged with actors, which gives the artwork some nice depth. But the first issue is little more than an introduction to the characters.


I know more about the story from the blurb on the back of the comic book than I actually learned from reading the comic book. The dialogue is great and the artwork is realistic, but I didn't find this slice of the story intriguing enough on it's own to get me into the story.

The final comic on my pile is "The Last Sin of Mark Grimm" from Silent Devil.

Mark Grimm is a detective in what at first seems like a classic almost clichéd film noir story. It begins with Mark Grimm in a face off with two thugs. He tells them to drop their guns. They don't and he shoots first. Then Grimm gets a call from the Chief, who yells at him for killing the last leads on the big crime boss. Like I said, it seems way too familiar. Then things heat up. Grimm's wife is kidnapped and demonic thugs start showing up. As Grimm descends into the criminal underworld looking for his wife, the story starts to echo elements of Orpheus and Eurydice (read Neil Gaiman's Sandman... or Greek mythology). Although Grimm himself seems a little flat, the first issue moves along to a shattering conclusion that knocks Grimm on his ass and leaves the reader wanting more. The Last Sin website has posted a trailer for the comic that serves as a nice preview.

Want more? Both Ape Entertainment and Silent Devil offer many more books than those listed above, just check out their websites. But don't stop there! There are hundreds of unknown books out there from hundreds of unknown companies. If you have the patience to wade through the mediocre, you might find some real gems just waiting for an audience.

Icky? You Be The Judge

Jamie Madrox. The Multiple Man. Leader of X-Factor and has the mutant ability to create sentient duplicates of himself simply by absorbing some kind of physical impact. They go out into the world, learn stuff, or just fight as an army, and when they're done, Madrox absorbs them back into himself, gaining their knowledge and experience. Best (and worst) of all, each one has its own personality. All in all, not a bad super power to have.

But this power, it does raise some questions that, until X-Factor #21, have never been officially answered or even officially asked. Sure fans have speculated, but to my knowledge at least, Marvel has never brought up a certain taboo pertaining to Jamie Madrox until this week.

If you could make another you... Um... I mean... would you...

Ah, hell, just let this panel sum it up:


Well, would it? Would having sex with a duplicate of yourself count as a gay encounter? Should it?

I guess what I'm asking, dear readers, is would you have sex with you? Not a twin (that's just perverted), but literally yourself. I really want to know. Answer honestly and tell why either way.

Seriously, let's talk about this.

Review: Transformers

First and foremost, you have to understand that this isn’t the 80’s cartoon you know and love. This is a Michael Bay movie, complete with cheesy dialogue, cardboard characters, shallow-at-best plot, sweeping slow motion shots of carnage and action and about a dozen other action movie clichés.

But when the screen goes dark and Peter Cullen’s deep, husky voice comes up and begins to explain the origins of Transformer life and the million year-long war on Cybertron, you kind of forget all the bad things you know are coming and give into the inner eight-year-old that begs to come out upon hearing the true voice of Optimus Prime again after a two decade absence.

That’s basically what Transformers is. A compromise. On the one hand, you have a flick filled with pretty young people with no real purpose, older B-list actors basically playing roles they’ve played in countless other movies, and lots of slap-stick comedy (like Bumblebee “pissing” on a government agent) that gets old fast and on the other hand, you’re living the dream you’ve had since first grade of getting to see real Transformers duke it out.

Here’s the plot in a nutshell: The Allspark, source of all Transformer life, was lost millions of years ago but landed on Earth. Megatron wants it so he can revive his depleted Decepticon forces. The Autobots want to keep him from doing that. High school student Sam Witwicky holds the key to where the Allspark is so naturally, Autobots and Decepticons alike want a chat with him. Oh, and there’s a hot chick in there for the sole purpose of showing off her hot tummy.

Aside from Sam Witwicky, pretty much every human character is pointless. We don’t need them. People came to see giant robots engaged in mortal combat, period. So why is more time is spent on toss-away characters than on, say, the Decepticons? Sure, it’s funny seeing a hacker freak out at the FBI raiding his apartment, or Bernie Mack giving an old woman the finger, but I would have rather seen Starscream being, well, Starscream. The Autobots get some nice screen time, but save for the fights (more on them later), the Decepticons are just there. Hell, most of them, Megatron included, don’t even show up until the last half hour of the movie. The one Decepticon that is almost always around, Frenzy, is just a cartoon character there for laughs more than anything else.

Then there’s the product placement. It’s very clear that Michael Bay financed this picture by going through the yellow pages and calling every corporation he could. Not only does GM get the biggest rub, but there’s even a scene where a Mountain Dew machine, an X-Box and a Buick accidentally get turned into Transformers. I get that it costs big bucks to make a gaggle of realistic transforming robots, but can’t you be a little more discreet than that? There’s also a pretty big plug about Nokia during what is otherwise a pivotal scene. These are just a couple glaring examples.

The plot also completely falls a part in the end. Characters begin making choices that contradict statements they made to the contrary just a few scenes earlier just so it can be humans, not Transformers that are the key to the battle. It takes away from the climactic battle and almost pulls you out of the moment.

But there were some good points here. The action was just top notch. No question about it, Michael Bay made me believe that I really was watching alien robots battle it out. It was incredible to see on the big screen. The battles on the streets of L.A. are just awesome, and there’s a scene where Starscream takes on a squadron of fighter jets by himself that is truly an innovative use of a Transformer’s abilities. Megatron, while bearing no resemblance to his cartoon self, was also pretty badass. Scary even. Best of all, he has no problem casually flicking humans out of his way.

Then there is Optimus Prime…

Optimus Prime is the only robot that ever made me want to be a better person, and despite all the shortcomings this film had (and there were many) getting the chance to see my old friend again was more than worth the price of admission. He was noble, philosophical, compassionate, heroic and inspiring. Not only did the special effects crew make him look great (the flame job doesn’t actually bother me that much anymore), but Peter Cullen still has it. His voice has aged a little, but God almighty that was Optimus Prime I was listening to on that screen. Aside from one or two poorly written samples of dialogue, the character was spot on.

And yes, when he confronts Megatron, he says that most famous of famous Optimus Prime quotes: “One shall stand, and one shall fall.” I just had another geekgasm typing that.

So there you go. Not a great movie by any stretch of the word, but honestly, good enough to see in theaters. Despite the crap, it was worth it all just to see live-action Cybertronians using Earth as their personal battlefield. So put down the grudges and give it a chance. Like I said, it’ll all be worth the pain when Prime’s voice comes up for the first time.