“How proud you will be as commander of your own Polaris Sub- the most powerful weapon in the world!” You don’t get ads like this anymore and you sure as hell don’t get many doomsday devices marketed towards CHILDREN. By the time I came around, people were starting to get pissed that you could get a cap gun that looked exactly like a real hand cannon*. No one ever offered me my own nuclear submarine for just under seven bucks.
You have to wonder how many of these things were moved. You also have to wonder how many rich little bastards had daddy fork over a couple hundred dollars so they could have their own silent fleets. Arms races springing up all over the country in little suburbs between first graders, all of them facing off at the local lake, daring the other to be the first to strike, all ready to implement a scorched earth policy.
I even have this sickly wonderful image of Wally and the Beav turning a pair of keys at the exact same moment and dumping their nuclear payload onto that annoying asshole Eddie Haskell’s house.
I do want one though, so I'm going to send in $6.98 and that order form and see what happens.
* To be fair, a few stupid kids were ruining it for the rest of us by scaring the shit of cops with their realistic toy guns and getting shot. So, you know, there was that.
4 comments:
I thought this was a good deal when I saw it was only $6.98, but then I saw the jacked up shipping cost! 75 cents to ship a nuclear sub, outrageous!
Did you happen to notice this gem?
"Sturdily constructed of 200 lbs. test fibreboard. Comes complete with easy assemble instructions."
Fibreboard = cardboard
Although, this is the world's second coolest cardboard box, it is still a cardboard box. Calvin's spaceship/transmogrifier/cloning machine/whatever stupendous adventure he and Hobbes were up to box is the coolest.
Joe Ben, the 75 cents really isn't all that jacked up, if you think about it. I mean, uranium weighs a LOT. It's one of the denser materials out there. Stands to reason it'd increase shipping costs.
On a similar note, I'm worried that even 200 lb. test cardboard won't filter out gamma radiation. Hope that periscope still works when your kid mutates into a cyclops.
What science fiction world are you living in? Exposure to gamma radiation is a plus!!
Post a Comment